Friday, June 17, 2011

actions not words

so....break ups suck.  they suck soooo bad.  soo bad that you think "why do i even ever fall in love?"  but love is awesome.  love is amazing.  so, where's the balance in it all.

i am in the middle of one of the biggest heartaches i have ever felt.  going through every emotion in the book.  anger, depression, madness, sadness, inspiration, nostalgia, pissed, losing my mind....but i am finally starting to even out.

OF COURSE the first days after the break up i went C R A Z Y!!!!  hello bar!  hello drinks!  hello old habits!

i think....don't judge yourself....everyone grieves different.....but then a good friend meets with me....and really put it all into perspective.  (love you j) starts me day.  i am going to pick a quality/word everyday and work on that.  today starts RESPONSIBILITY

i'm going to follow through with every single thing i am responsible for.  i'm going to push myself.  i'm going to hibernate for awhile and meditate and really dive down into my soul to see what i'm really made of.  i'm going to do things that i wouldn't normally do or think scary.  i'm going to WORKOUT!  i'm going to journal personally and on here.

but guess what......?

actions not words.

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